In less than a month our family begins Celebration Season. Birthdays – Sue, Becca, Mom M., Bob, the anniversary of our first date, Natalie, Andrea, Zander, Aaron and now John - and all of this is just in the space between November 17th and December 21st. Then Christmas arrives.
All of this usually seemed to come as a great surprise to me. I struggled with this for many years. The facts should have been obvious. The day is approaching. Think of a gift, get it/make it, get/make a card, wrap the gift, sign the card, stick it all together and put it where we could find it, then give it at the appropriate time. It is the same thing every time. I know when these things are coming. It should be a no-brainer.
However, as it worked out for me for many years, it usually wouldn’t be until a day or two – if that – before the event that I realized I needed that gift. I felt guilt and I felt inadequate. That immobilized me even further. I may have bought a card but then would misplace that. I just couldn’t figure out what made it so difficult. And this was just a small part of my life.
Then last fall, my sis-in-law, Linda, said that she has been feeling so much better after switching thyroid medications. She stopped Synthroid and started Armor Thyroid. I researched it on the internet – of course – and presented it to my Family Nurse Practitioner. We have been trying to ‘fix’ me for years so she was open to try it. I had also been taking Ritalin. Being ADD doesn’t help this situation. The first day I took my first Armor Thyroid and Ritalin and I felt VERY much awake. I stopped the Ritalin so I could see how this would work.
I was surprised that I was DOING things. I would eat dinner and actually put the dishes in the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. All of a sudden it seemed quite logical – for the first time in a very long time. Decades. Everything I did was a struggle. I had to ‘realize’ what needed to be done and then figure out what to do – if I could only find the energy – then repeat that the next time something very routine came along.
I did quite well through Christmas although I noticed I was more and more tired. My thyroid tests 'seemed' normal so after Christmas I started taking Cymbalta. It is an anti-depressant – something I usually need to take. It was supposed to give me energy. It put me on the couch. I was excited if I got dressed. By the middle of January, the process of going with all of our family to Eagle Crest Resort wore me out before I got there.
We (my FNP & I) couldn’t figure out what my problem was. In hindsight I felt like I did when a psychiatrist decided I was bipolar, not ADD, and put me on lithium and Alyssa’s wedding was fast approaching. I finally realized that I have never been manic (and another psychiatrist agreed with me). Quite the contrary. And I had a wedding gown to make. I got rid of the doctor and the meds at the same time.
This time we assumed… I don’t know what was assumed but Cymbalta wasn’t seen as a problem. I kept waiting for that energy to appear. Plus my nose turned red almost as soon as I began Cymbalta. We assumed it was rosacea. I rubbed creams and took antibiotics – still red.
Fast forward (slowly) to June. Bob discovered he had prostate cancer and I knew I needed to wake up. I had to take care of him when he came home from the hospital. I went through each pill I was taking and Googled it along with ‘tired’. Cymbalta came up positive as a side affect. That red nose was a side effect of Cymbalta. It is getting a little better.
Unfortunately, it isn’t something you can just stop taking. It wasn’t until sometime in August that I took the last of it and by then I had broken my arm. Does anyone see a pattern here?
In June I went to Bob’s doctor for something and he upped my thyroid – a lot. That and coming off Cymbalta I am finally coming out if it. And I’ve lost some weight. My appetite is more like it was in my early 20’s. Now if I could just get that 24” waist back….
What I was missing was T3 – which helps mental functioning, metabolism, etc. It is the thyroid hormone that does the work. I realized that there was really something to my new med on New Year’s Day 2006. Our Sunday School class gets together to get rid of Christmas goodies and watch the bowl games. Bob was still recovering from pneumonia and stayed home but I actually went – alone – and came home early. And when some of us sat down to play a new game I understood the rules and concepts the first time! I even won! It had been years since that happened. I would always have to keep asking what to do and I never really could relax and enjoy myself. Remembering New Years Day kept me going this year. I had hope.
So now, with all of this year behind us, Bob is doing well and I am actually thinking about what I need to do. I may be tired but it’s not that groggy peeking out through a little parting in the fog.
LET THE CELEBRATIONS BEGIN!
All of this usually seemed to come as a great surprise to me. I struggled with this for many years. The facts should have been obvious. The day is approaching. Think of a gift, get it/make it, get/make a card, wrap the gift, sign the card, stick it all together and put it where we could find it, then give it at the appropriate time. It is the same thing every time. I know when these things are coming. It should be a no-brainer.
However, as it worked out for me for many years, it usually wouldn’t be until a day or two – if that – before the event that I realized I needed that gift. I felt guilt and I felt inadequate. That immobilized me even further. I may have bought a card but then would misplace that. I just couldn’t figure out what made it so difficult. And this was just a small part of my life.
Then last fall, my sis-in-law, Linda, said that she has been feeling so much better after switching thyroid medications. She stopped Synthroid and started Armor Thyroid. I researched it on the internet – of course – and presented it to my Family Nurse Practitioner. We have been trying to ‘fix’ me for years so she was open to try it. I had also been taking Ritalin. Being ADD doesn’t help this situation. The first day I took my first Armor Thyroid and Ritalin and I felt VERY much awake. I stopped the Ritalin so I could see how this would work.
I was surprised that I was DOING things. I would eat dinner and actually put the dishes in the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. All of a sudden it seemed quite logical – for the first time in a very long time. Decades. Everything I did was a struggle. I had to ‘realize’ what needed to be done and then figure out what to do – if I could only find the energy – then repeat that the next time something very routine came along.
I did quite well through Christmas although I noticed I was more and more tired. My thyroid tests 'seemed' normal so after Christmas I started taking Cymbalta. It is an anti-depressant – something I usually need to take. It was supposed to give me energy. It put me on the couch. I was excited if I got dressed. By the middle of January, the process of going with all of our family to Eagle Crest Resort wore me out before I got there.
We (my FNP & I) couldn’t figure out what my problem was. In hindsight I felt like I did when a psychiatrist decided I was bipolar, not ADD, and put me on lithium and Alyssa’s wedding was fast approaching. I finally realized that I have never been manic (and another psychiatrist agreed with me). Quite the contrary. And I had a wedding gown to make. I got rid of the doctor and the meds at the same time.
This time we assumed… I don’t know what was assumed but Cymbalta wasn’t seen as a problem. I kept waiting for that energy to appear. Plus my nose turned red almost as soon as I began Cymbalta. We assumed it was rosacea. I rubbed creams and took antibiotics – still red.
Fast forward (slowly) to June. Bob discovered he had prostate cancer and I knew I needed to wake up. I had to take care of him when he came home from the hospital. I went through each pill I was taking and Googled it along with ‘tired’. Cymbalta came up positive as a side affect. That red nose was a side effect of Cymbalta. It is getting a little better.
Unfortunately, it isn’t something you can just stop taking. It wasn’t until sometime in August that I took the last of it and by then I had broken my arm. Does anyone see a pattern here?
In June I went to Bob’s doctor for something and he upped my thyroid – a lot. That and coming off Cymbalta I am finally coming out if it. And I’ve lost some weight. My appetite is more like it was in my early 20’s. Now if I could just get that 24” waist back….
What I was missing was T3 – which helps mental functioning, metabolism, etc. It is the thyroid hormone that does the work. I realized that there was really something to my new med on New Year’s Day 2006. Our Sunday School class gets together to get rid of Christmas goodies and watch the bowl games. Bob was still recovering from pneumonia and stayed home but I actually went – alone – and came home early. And when some of us sat down to play a new game I understood the rules and concepts the first time! I even won! It had been years since that happened. I would always have to keep asking what to do and I never really could relax and enjoy myself. Remembering New Years Day kept me going this year. I had hope.
So now, with all of this year behind us, Bob is doing well and I am actually thinking about what I need to do. I may be tired but it’s not that groggy peeking out through a little parting in the fog.
LET THE CELEBRATIONS BEGIN!
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